This Morning and Now
by Cubit2
Summary: Sort of a coda to 10.14. What was Danny thinking? And a "missing scene" from 10.16 that gives us more of Danny thinking.
1. Chapter 1

A/N. I have read many people question why they would introduce a new character so perfect for Danny and then take her away in the same episode. My answer is simple - because Scott Caan is so exceptional at his craft that they like to give him some really unique material to work with sometimes. They knew that he could "knock this one out of the park" (to use a baseball analogy that Danny Williams would love.)

I have also read many questioning the final scene. While it wasn't the way I would have written it, I did like the contrast of traumatized Danny walking down the street alone as a counterpoint to the beginning of the episode where traumatized Eddie was running across a busy highway with a loving Steve in close pursuit.

This is very short but it's the way the muse presented it to me. I wrote it Sunday and it's been sitting on my pc as life kept me away. I figured I should post it before the next episode, so here goes. All mistakes are mine.

H50 H50 H50

This morning, Danny was grieving the loss of what he had finally admitted was the complete and utter end to his marriage with Rachel, the woman he had vowed to love, honor and cherish all the days of his life.

A few hours ago, Danny was dreaming of a happy life with the woman of his dreams, the woman he knew was truly "the one."

Now, Danny released his grip on the woman's hand and pulled his arm back through the broken car window, his heart filling with a level of grief so deep he could barely comprehend it. Fighting the tears, he wiped his eyes and glanced at her before looking away again. He didn't even know her name. He had no right to feel so devastated at the loss of a woman he didn't even know.

But he did know her, didn't he? She was the woman of his dreams. He may not know her name but he knew that she had filled his heart with a love and a joy and, most surprisingly, a peace that he had never known before. He looked at her again, as if he could somehow learn her name just by looking at her. It didn't work.

As the sound of the sirens reached his ears, a name popped into his head - Grace. Not his daughter Grace but her namesake - his partner back in Newark.

This woman wasn't Grace.

But she was dead like Grace.

Dead because he hadn't saved her, like he hadn't saved Grace.

But she wasn't Grace.

No, she wasn't Grace. She wasn't Rachel. She wasn't Gabby or Melissa or any of the other women he had dated or loved over the years. Loved? Where had that come from? He didn't even know her name. How could he love her? Yet, he did.

The sirens grew louder and again, the name Grace came to him. Grace with this woman's face. Both dead. Both dead because he hadn't saved them.

Danny pushed himself to his feet, every fiber of his being aching, his ribs and ankle begging for respite. Forcing the pain aside, he turned and headed back to the hill. The hill he had climbed up and slid down so many times that day that he had lost count.

He trudged up again. As he reached the top the sirens and lights were right there. Help was right there. But they were too late - again. He had failed - again.

He had exacted justice to the DeAngeles crime family whose violent and vengeful members, Billy and Ray, had so callously killed Grace.

He vowed he would do the same to the driver who, phone in hand, texting away, had carelessly driven them off the road today in a dark gray sedan with a license plate ending in 724.

His mind whirling with grief and guilt, with memories and pain, with love and loss, Danny staggered into the road as the ambulance, the rescue truck and the police car sped past just as they had on September 11th, 2001. This time, his mind did not even register their existence.

This morning, Danny had been grieving.

A few hours ago, Danny had been happily planning the rest of his life.

Now, Danny was mourning a woman whose name he didn't know, missing a life with her he would never have, limping down the road - alone. He would find "724" and he would exact justice.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Yes, this was a one chapter, completed story. However, the Valentine's episode 10.16, left me with this little "missing scene" gift from the muse about where Danny was while the ohana was congregating at Steve's house. No, I don't plan on writing any more chapters (but I hadn't planned on writing this one, either).

But first, two frustrating things. First, why did they name the woman Danny set Steve up with, Brooke? That's the name of the woman who was being abused by her husband who Danny helped back in Newark. Then her ex-husband shot him while they were in quarantine. All the female names out there and they have to repeat this one? Second, last week, Steve apologized to the female vet for not calling her, using the "it's not you, it's me" line, saying he couldn't focus on a relationship right now. Yet, apparently, he's been seeing Brooke quite a bit since that first blind date. Last week I was giving him kudos for his self awareness. This week he just seems like a liar.

I do not own "Hawaii Five-0" or the characters. A shout out to Phoebe Miller for encouraging me to post this little ficlet. All mistakes are mine.

H50 H50 H50

This morning, Danny was sitting in one of the HPD interrogation rooms, trying to make sense of why a woman would confess to the murder of her abusive husband when it was obvious to him that she had not done it.

A few hours ago, Danny was risking his own freedom to protect this woman from being extradited for the murder, after the team had figured out that the man of her dreams, who she was trying to protect with her confession, had not committed the crime either.

Now, Danny was back in HPD sitting in the basement in front of a computer. After the team had all left for the evening to get ready for their special Valentine's Day plans, he had come here. Danny's plans were to work a few hours before going home and having a couple beers and some leftovers for a late dinner.

It was pretty pathetic as Valentine's Day plans go, but it properly reflected his love life so it made perfect sense. His own chances at love had come crashing down around him just weeks earlier, first figuratively with Rachel and then literally with Joanne, the woman of his dreams.

The computer search for a license plate ending in 724 had come up with close to a thousand cars across the state. Each car owner had to be investigated. It wasn't as simple as looking for a man of a certain age. The car may have been sold, or the car may have been borrowed, possibly even a rental. There were numerous possibilities. It was a tedious, time consuming process and HPD just didn't have the resources to dedicate to it. So, Danny had taken on the task himself. His kids and his responsibility to the task force came first, but otherwise, whenever he had spare time and a HPD computer was available he would come here and sift through the information. A few times he had knocked on the door of a potentially interesting suspect. So far, he had not come up with anything solid.

The case today had touched Danny deeply. His experience working with spousal abuse victims while on the Newark PD, particularly Brooke, had affected him so much that he had done his own research on the subject. That knowledge had helped him solve many cases back then and was key to solving this puzzle today. Yet retrieving that knowledge also caused many emotions to resurface - about Brooke and her extremely violent ex-husband but also about Joanne.

Joanne had hinted at being in the process of leaving a previous relationship. He couldn't recall precise words. Way too much had gone on that day for that. Yet, the feeling was there. Had Joanne left an abusive relationship, or just a failed one? He didn't know. The little he did know about her was from their extremely short time together that fateful day and from her sister in the even shorter time they had spoken to each other in the coroner's hallway. He knew he could use his skills and the technology available to him through 5-0 to delve deeper but he wouldn't do that. It felt like too much of an invasion of her privacy. She hadn't shared any details of her life. He needed to respect that.

And so, he was left to wonder.

Refocusing on his search for "724", he read through the information of the next car owner on the list. A 78 year old woman from a town several miles down the road where he and Joanne had been pushed off the highway by the young distracted driver of "724". At first glance, investigating her further would make no sense but Danny was a detective and he knew you got nowhere in an investigation if you stuck to first glances. 78 year old women, he theorized, often had grandchildren. Following his instincts, he entered her name in a search and found a very interesting possible lead. The woman actually had 24 grandchildren, including 13 grandsons who were old enough to drive. Further searching revealed that each of them did indeed have a driver's license. Some owned their own cars but some did not.

This was certainly a promising lead and he would have stayed all night and plowed through all of the information but a HPD officer was now waiting to use the computer and he knew his time was up. It was Valentine's Day and as much as he would love to find "724" right now, he didn't feel it was the right time, nor did he have sufficient information, to go knocking on this woman's door inquiring about who might have been driving her car that day.

He looked at his watch, happy to see that Steve would be out of the house by now for his date with Brooke. He didn't need the reminder that he was so very much alone, nor did he want to deal with Steve asking him if he was all right. He was fine. Whatever that meant.

No, the house would be empty so Danny could go "home" to Steve's, pop open a few beers and ruminate about his lost loves in solitude.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Surprise! The muse hit again after I watched episode 10.18. Sadly, it appears that, on screen, Danny will never find the driver of 724. I just don't understand why they made a thing of her telling him that number if they weren't going to do anything with it.

I do not own "Hawaii Five-0" or the characters.

H50 H50 H50

This morning, before their conversation about Steve's date, Danny was telling Steve, once again, to have faith in Adam and not to doubt him.

A few hours ago, Danny was keeping himself busy at the crime scene while Steve had a sit down chat with Adam.

Now, Danny, beer in hand, was standing in the bar with the team. Quinn had told them she was bringing Neolani there so she wasn't sitting at home alone, grieving her uncle. The ohana naturally decided to meet them there, just as supportive of Noelani as they had been for him after the accident that took Joanne's life.

This guy named Rick who had worked with the team before and had helped crack this case open, had appeared by their table almost as soon as Quinn and Neolani arrived, Danny had noticed. After quick introductions, he and Quinn began some verbal dancing before heading out to the dance floor for some actual dancing. More like a mating dance as far as Danny was interest in each other was as obvious as Tani and Junior's had been. Not to be outdone, Junior and Tani, as if reading Danny's mind, were right behind them. Danny enjoyed seeing them all so happy.

He looked around him as the others watched the action on the dance floor. Neolani had a boyfriend who would be arriving soon. Lou had Renee making dinner for him at home. Steve, always the overachiever, had himself two girlfriends. Danny had helped set up both relationships, he recalled with a touch of a smile. Everyone deserved someone who made them happy. He sighed at that, his thoughts going, as they often did the past few weeks, to Joanne and the happiness they were denied by some guy with a cell phone.

He missed her so much it ached. A huge, unfillable whole in his heart. The gunshot wound to the chest last year did not hurt this much.

He bit his lip and took a deep breath, pulling his emotions under control. Draining his beer, he asked for another.

As the younger team members danced and Steve, Lou and Noelani watched, he turned his mind to what Steve had told him - Adam had been funneling confidential HPD information to the Yakuza in order to gain their confidence so he could obtain enough information to take Kenji down for good.

The reason he gave for not informing Steve about what he was doing? He "knew" Steve would tell him it was too dangerous and shut him down.

Seriously? Scoffing, Danny drained a quarter of his beer. Arresting Kenji and dismantling part, if not all, of the Yakuza on the island was one of the team's biggest goals.

He didn't know whether he should feel that his faith in Adam had been substantiated or not.

It was kind of hard to tell.

After all, Adam had good intentions. He knew he had a unique situation that he could use to bring the Yakuza down. That's why he had been brought onto the team in the first place. More precisely, that's why Danny had brought him onto the team.

Which brought Danny to the flip side. Danny had been Adam's staunchest supporter from the very beginning. When Lou doubted Adam, Danny believed in him. When Steve doubted Adam, Danny believed in him.

How did Adam repay that faith? By funneling information to the Yakuza - information his brothers in blue had worked and fought and possibly even died for over the years. Small things, Adam had told Steve, just to gain their trust.

Trust. Trust was a big word. After all the task force had done for Adam you think he would trust them enough to let them know his plan, ask for their help, assure them that he had good intentions, argue for his right and his unique ability to accomplish this goal he had been hired to achieve - not go behind their backs. Frustrated, he took another long pull of his beer.

Even knowing that Adam had good intentions, Danny couldn't help but feel betrayed. Yeah, trust was a big word all right.

Noelani's boyfriend came and then she left with him. Lou left to have dinner with his family and Steve left for his date with Emma. Danny's only date was with the computer in HPD that he was using to try and find the driver of 724 who caused Joanne's death.

As he finished his beer, Danny watched Tani, Junior, Quinn and Rick dancing and laughing. Placing the bottle down on the table, he gave a quick wave to the four of them and headed for the door, wondering if he should change his plans and go and have a little chat with Adam instead.

This morning, Danny was telling Steve to have faith in Adam. Now, Danny was feeling betrayed.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Well, as feared, Danny never got answers or justice for Joanne's death, on-screen. Many of you have asked me (some repeatedly) to put that storyline to bed in this story so I am doing that for you. I don't think this is what any of you imagined as the end to this story, though. It's honestly not what I had imagined. But, it's what the muse brought so I hope you enjoy it. Ummm, enjoy might not be the right word. Peter Lenkov may have promised a happy ending (which, as a Danny fan I never saw) but I never made such a promise. Please forgive me.

H50 H50 H50

This morning, just like every other morning the past week, Danny dragged himself out of bed, tended to Eddie and then forced himself to eat some breakfast. He had been through this same recovery two years prior, when he had been shot in the chest while in quarantine, and knowing exactly what he was going to have to go through and how long the pain would remain was actually rather discouraging. Back then, he also had daily visits from Steve and Grace to help him through each day. Now they were both away, Junior spent almost all of his time at Tani's, Lou was busy with work and his own family and, until Danny had healed further, Charlie couldn't even visit him unless someone else came along to help. It all well and truly sucked.

He had checked his phone and wasn't surprised that there was nothing from Steve. Other than a quick text telling Danny that Catherine had joined him on the trip, Steve hadn't contacted him at all. So much for "you got a phone, right?" He hoped that having Catherine there was not preventing Steve from finding the peace he sought. He knew that Steve still held a place in his heart for her, and he was okay with Catherine coming back and taking her place in Steve's life again (if it was for good this time), but he really wasn't sure this was the right time for that. Nothing he could do about it, though.

A few hours ago, Danny had found a lead in his search for "724". It wasn't the first time that he thought he might have something but this was the first time he wasn't able to personally look into it. Without any other option, he had called Duke with the information and then taken an Uber to his physical therapy appointment.

Now back from PT, Danny sat on the sofa in Steve's living room stunned beyond belief as Duke spoke to him about the driver of "724". All these months since Joanne's death he had worked tirelessly to find the guy who had driven them off the road. He had envisioned all kinds of things he wanted to do to him to make him suffer. Suffer the way Joanne had.

In every fantasized scenario, Steve was by his side, stopping him from doing something that he would regret the rest of his life, a living, breathing reminder of the shame he still felt for what he had done to Marco Reyes. Yes, anyway he imagined it, Steve would be with him, the rock he could count on, the shoulder he could lean on.

All these months he had imagined finding "724" and he had finally succeeded. Yet nothing was as he had imagined. Yes, Steve wasn't here for him but that wasn't half of it.

As Duke ended the call, Danny didn't even notice as the phone slipped through his fingers and thudded to the floor.

Danny's pulse was thundering in his ears, his head was pounding, his hands were shaking. He couldn't catch his breath. His chest was on fire with pain, but not from the bullet wound.

All the anger, all the hate that he had sent the way of "724" was now twisted into knots. He didn't know what to do with it. Couldn't put a handle on his emotions. He needed someone to talk to and there was no one there. There was only one person who he could talk to freely about what he was going through right now - and that person was "walking the earth like the dude from Kung Fu" with Catherine and looking for peace.

Danny laughed at that. A dry, pained, heart breaking laugh. Peace. Danny felt he would never find peace. He had known peace, yes. For a few blessed hours he had known peace and joy and happiness and an uncountable number of other wonderful things - until "724" had taken it all away.

He wanted to hate "724" as he had all these months. He wanted to picture making "724" suffer.

But he knew "724" was already suffering - had been suffering from long moments before he had driven them off the road.

Instead of imagining the pain he would inflict on "724", Danny imagined the pain "724" had suffered that tragic day. He imagined receiving a panicked call from his wife, six months pregnant, having serious contractions, and bleeding heavily. He imagined the interminable drive to get to her side. He imagined trying to help her remain conscious until help arrived and losing the phone connection with her as he drove through the mountain pass. He imagined staring at the phone willing just one bar to show up so he could call her back and speak with her one last time.

He imagined being so focused on getting reception on his phone that he didn't even see the car coming the other direction, not even noticing as he drove it off the road - because his wife was dying and his heart was breaking and he couldn't see anything else.

Joanne wasn't the only woman who died that day.

Danny wasn't the only man who suffered an unbelievable loss that day.

But, the loss of one didn't justify the loss of the other. Danny didn't know what to make of it, didn't know what to think, didn't know how to feel. He needed to talk this through with someone but there was nobody to talk to.

Danny shuddered as he recalled Duke's words. "724" had just brought his premature baby girl home from the hospital a few days ago. She was in his arms when Duke came knocking at his door.

If Danny ever came face to face with "724" he wasn't sure what he would do. If he thought of Joanne, the pain she suffered and her needless death he would want to beat the man senseless, and then revive him so he could do it again. But if he thought of "724" as a husband and father he'd want to pull the man into a hug, offer his condolences, give the baby a stuffed bunny, and tell him it would all be okay.

This was not how he imagined finding "724" would be at all.

In fact, nothing about his life right now was what he had imagined - living alone in Steve's house, while Danny's own house was now perfectly livable, and caring for Steve's dog, while Junior played house with Tani and Steve was off wandering the globe with Catherine. Not to mention the new bullet hole in his chest and the latest addition to his scar collection. No, not how he had imagined life at all.

This morning, Danny was alone and in pain. Now, Danny was alone, in pain, and totally bewildered.


End file.
